Lady How To: The Boob Itch

This is an in-depth look into the different ways to itch your favorite ladies.

  1. The Shimmy
    1. This move is mostly in the shoulders. It starts with a subtle shoulder shake to find exactly where the itch is hiding. Once located shimmy more violently until the collision of your ladies is enough to take care of that pestering itch.
  2. The Big Squeeze
    1. This itch involves the arms squishing the boobs together. If done correctly it looks like your simply stretching your shoulders. If done improperly you look like you’re squishing your boobs together in some sort of odd mating ritual.
  3. The Brush Up
    1. This is used for those itches located at the front of your chest. It’s a movement similar to a disco dance move, but with the limp hand of someone truly disinterested. Unlike the aforementioned disco move, do not do this repeatedly as it will certainly draw attention, which defeats the purpose.
  4. Just Go for It
    1. Pretty self-explanatory. Sometimes you just have to scratch that itch. It’s not the most lady-like option, but who cares. There is no at work you need to impress, plus you walked out of the door without eyeliner today so obviously you set the bar low.

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