Hardware Store Shenanigans: The Depot Olympics

Remember when you were young and the cardboard tube was the ultimate in entertainment. You were all of the sudden a knight or ninja (or in my case a Jedi Master). Well at the Depot these tubes are in abundance as every outdoor rug has one at the center. One fine evening I was closing the roof top garden with a couple coworkers and we came across one of these tubes. Not only did we find one such item but it was the most spectacular of cardboard tubes that could exist. It was about the length of a javelin and was far sturdier than any from my childhood.

For the next 90 minutes we practiced for the Olympics by throwing this tube across like the javelin it resembled. Though I am not in any way skilled in this art, I did get in a couple good throws. It was the moment that this tube nearly careened off of the roof onto the busy street below that I realized we would probably be fined for injuring any cars on the street below and would certainly be fired if that did indeed happen that we decided to leave it to the professionals.

One of the men on that roof with me was later promoted to be my supervisor.

Hardware Store Shenanigans: Cute Manly Girl

As a woman who worked in a hardware store I was pretty used to dealing with people assuming I couldn’t do anything. On this day I was working on the roof top garden and just doing my job. A man came up and began asking me about the mulch options.

“Yes of course. We have many options of mulch. You can go with cedar mulch, which can be a natural pesticide. We also have a wide variety of colored mulch, but be careful as it may stain the trunk of your car.”

As the customer was weighing his options I took that opportunity to run to the main floor.

When I came back I found out that he had noticed my leaving and before leaving asked the cashier “Where is the cute manly girl? I wanted her to load my mulch.”

  1. You are a full grown adult. You can load your own mulch.
  2. Did you seriously just say you wanted to watch me load your mulch?! That is just fowl.
  3. “Cute Manly Girl”? How is that supposed to be flattering? Just because I’m not weak and I know about mulch?

So Bad…